Jokes and Fun

Speeding

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station ...

Things aren't what they appear to be........

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees the ne...

The Bail-Out Plan…

…explained another way! Chuck lost his job and moved from New York to Texas.  He bought a Donkey from a farmer for...

Happy Birthday

To commemorate her 73d birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews (My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins) made a special appearance at Manha...

Best Comeback Line

Australian General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed h...

The wisdom of Larry the cable guy......

The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...... 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you hav...

Don't fear the devil!

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly...

Nothing to do?

Michael Phelps baby picture

Perks of being over 60

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. ...

Toyota vs General Motors

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (GM)  decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practic...

Don't touch my beer! :)

One day an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of beer. Just as ...

Beer for everyone!

A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender." But when it was time to pay, the ...

Important! VIRUS ALERT!

There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through the email system. If you get an email message with the...

heaven or hell?

Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, "This ...

Expensive!

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. so, I took her to a gas station.....&...

Good to know: Computer Acronyms

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms SCSI System Can't See It DOS De...

Duck Hunt

To hunt dugs, you should do as they do!

For Sale

One day, while Mary was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollar...

The blind man's eye

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, ...

Blonde girl and juice

A blonde girl spent an hour looking at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate"...

Husbands playing golf

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- funct...

Golf Balls

Service???

I became confused when I heard these terms which reference the word 'service'. Internal Revenue 'Servic...

fortune cookie

The Jewelry Store

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He to...

10 Things Only A Woman can Understand

10. Cats' facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. Why bean spro...

My First Time

It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. The sky w...

How to improve the house a little while the parents are away...

eg. with a 60' slide from th roof-top? http://embed.break.com/NDkxNzkw

Notable Quotes

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I  say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." --...

Jokes and fun