Things to do when your ISP is down

   1.  Dial 911 immediately.

   2.  Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.

   3.  You mean there's something else to do?

   4.  Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.

   5.  Work.

   6.  Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.

   7.  Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
mike