Computerhilfen.com: BEST COMEBACK RESPONSE OF THE YEAR 2008

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender , running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: ' Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q : 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes sir.'

Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex , and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter!

this really was the best possible answer! ;)

What does Peter mean about this answer?

I presume, he'll have "no objections"  :) ;D

or he'll give back his "new" police-uniform he "found" somewhere ;)

Dazu passt:

Hab ich grad als Mail bekommen:

Disorder in American courts


These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things
people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place.


    ATTORNEY:  Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS:      No, I just lie there.
    ______________________________

    ATTORNEY:  What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS:        July 18th.
    ATTORNEY:  What year?
    WITNESS:        Every year.
    _____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:    What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS:        Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS:        Yes.
    ATTORNEY:    And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS:        I forget.
    ATTORNEY:    You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    _____________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    How old is your son, the one living with you?
    WITNESS:      Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    ATTORNEY:    How long has he lived with you?
    WITNESS:        Forty-five years.
    _____________________________________


    ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
    WITNESS:      He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS:      My name is Susan.
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:  Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
    WITNESS:      We both do.
    ATTORNEY:  Voodoo?
    WITNESS:      We do.
    ATTORNEY:  You do?
    WITNESS:      Yes, voodoo.
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS:      Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ___________________________________



    ATTORNEY:    The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

    WITNESS:        Uh, he's twenty-one..

    ________________________________________



    ATTORNEY:    Were you present when your picture was taken?

    WITNESS:      Would you repeat the question?
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS:        Yes.
    ATTORNEY:    And what were you doing at that time?

    WITNESS:        Uh....
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    She had three children, right?
    WITNESS:        Yes.
    ATTORNEY:    How many were boys?
    WITNESS:        None.
    ATTORNEY:    Were there any girls?
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS:        By death.
    ATTORNEY:    And by whose death was it terminated?
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS:        He was about medium height and had a beard.
    ATTORNEY:    Was this a male or a female?
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

    WITNESS:        No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS:        All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    WITNESS:        Oral.
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS:        The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    ATTORNEY:    And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS:        No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

    WITNESS:        Huh?

    ______________________________________


    ATTORNEY:    Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS:        No.
    ATTORNEY:    Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS:      No.
    ATTORNEY    Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS:      No.
    ATTORNEY:    So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS:      No.
    ATTORNEY:    How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS:        Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY:    But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS:      Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.


aus Myrias.de Spass mit Sir Twist